Strange and Wonderful news

Soooo Big things are happening here..... B. called tonight and we booked his flight out to Dallas for next weekend. Can I just say how surprised I am that the much anticipated/worried about event is actually going to happen! I don't know how things are going to turn out but at least I'm planning on having a fantastic time. If nothing else it will put to rest some of those questions which have been niggling at the back of my mind. So thats it----B. is flying out to see me!

Work related...I'm so excited for the CA trip. I received a confirmation email from one of the Regional Vice President's welcoming me to CA and expressing concern that I pack warm enough clothes as it is very likely to have snow in the mountains where we have several properties. So that was a very nice, warm and fuzzy email to receive. Otherwise, I have to work tomorrow which really is not fun, plus I need to get my executive opinion summary caught up so its not looming over me on Monday when its due. My last Texas audit is on Monday :( after that I'm off to Houston for a few days---Are you up for a late dinner on Tuesday Rachel??? Call me! Then the corporate awards program and formal dinner is on Wednesday. Always fun to hobnob with the big boys....actually when I think about it I am one of the big boys now.....how interesting. Then its back to Dallas on Thursday morning and into the office to begin preping the CA trip. B. will arrive at 11:30pm on Thursday and we actually fly out within 30 min of each other on Monday morning. This is going to be a very interesting week and a half to say the least.

So...I'll keep you posted with all the details (I know too much info) but thats just how it goes. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!!

Sex and the City

So its Wednesday evening and rather than working on the reservations for the CA Trip or the Audits for the Ohio/WV/KY trip I'm dawdling with one eye on a re-run of Sex and the City and the other flipping through today's newspaper looking for any items of interest. All in all its been a good day, the Audit went well even though the Mgr asked me out for dinner. Divorced men are a little creepy sometimes.
Remember the S&TC espisode where Berger has broken up with Carrie on the post-it note and she and the rest of the girls are at the "bed party" and Samatha realizes that she didn't like it when Smith went on TV and said that he was dating but not seeing anyone special---at her urging of course. I always like that episode cause I think it marks an important change in Samatha's personality.....perhaps this is where she begins to realize that Smith is more that just a pretty face. Don't you wonder how many lives of single females are impacted by this show. I know that I've watched the DVD's and the re-runs way to many times.

So I'm thinking of ideas for Sarah's bachelorette party and if anyone has any ideas or preferences just drop me a line....I'm thinking something fun and funky that will be remembered for years to come....

Planning

After a great weekend of relaxation and rest I realized this morning that I have some serious work to do prior to the work week beginning again tomorrow. I honestly have no idea where the time goes. The job is progressing more and more smoothly. I have to admit that it is wonderful to be out on my own without worry or concern about someone elses time schedules, what they want to do, where they want to eat dinner and they myriad of other details that seem to pop up when traveling with a partner. The auidts have not been taking as long, which I see as a very positive sign. Not that anyone is passing but at least my speed in conducting the audits is showing a positive trend.

B. and I are so-so. We got into a tiff the other night when I was out at a wine tasting with Sarah, Ryan and a bunch of their friends in SA. The whole he was home and I was out issue came to light and there might have been a little bit of jealousy on his part that I was out socializing. That is the difficulty of new relationships/friendships. Just how far does the trust extend. Well, I know where I stand on that issue and many of you know my concerns so I won't bore you to death with them again. Needless to say on Sunday morning, he called and apologized for his behavior the previous evening, and while it wasn't a perfect apology, it was still an apology. Later that day there were several text msgs sent that in essence were making up for his lack of communication the previous week. Strange and bizarre. Supposedly he is trying to see if he can fly out to see me the first weekend in March....but this once again is a situation where I'm not holding my breath. Its amazing the things that could pop up at the last minute and cause havoc for whatever plans he is making. But then its also true that if I was trying to make plans to fly out to see him, the said plans would be sketchy at best just because of the nature of my job.

The CA trip is almost finalized after a frantic period of revisions. The layout of the trip is still fantastic but I won't be weekending at Mammoth Lakes like I had hoped. Nonetheless, the opportunity is still there to spend some quality time in the parks and I fully intend to take advantage of all the beautiful scenery while I'm out there.

So that all the news that is news. Life in the fast lane....kind of boring this week!

Valentine's Day

Why is it that reality never quite lives up to your hopes and expectations? I didn't get a phone call this morning from B. I thought it would have been the least he could have done considering the holiday and all. We spoke last night about V-Day just briefly and I told him that he needed to check his email today. It was only after that statement that he said he had thought about getting me flowers but didn't know where to send them. I'M IN THE OFFICE UNTIL WEDNESDAY! Is it just me or did that sound like a serious cop-out? If he really had wanted to send me flowers then he would have, right? Its not that hard, just look up Accor North America Hqtrs online and voila--an address appears. Or he could ask in a round-about fashion and thereby glean that desired knowledge. I'm just sick of myself for being hurt about it more than anything.

Last night B. told me that he is going to be out for a training exercise for the next few days (5 to be exact) and that means no cell phones, no txt msging, nothing. Its strange but maybe I need this time to get my head on straight. I have a great job, fantastic friends, a good life, I love to read, to visit wineries, travel internationally and stateside and in general think of myself as a fairly rounded individual. Yet I feel myself changing, and not for the better. Who is this desperate clinging person? I'm not a clinger by nature....at least I don't think I am. But there is this sense of my not meeting his expectations, of his wanting something else--a cross between a party girl and the keep-the-home fires-burning wife. And I'm just not that party girl. I like going out with my friends but I'm not "on the prowl" and I don't dress like a tramp, I'm not throw-it-in-your face sexy. I'm the girl next door who isn't rail thin, who likes to eat good food and laugh and talk. I love to mountain bike and road bike. I like to walk, hate to run. I'm smart but not brilliant. I think life should be lived and not endured. Yet I feel like I'm back in high school again and this time the captain of the football team has expressed an interest in me, the girl who always had her head stuck in a book. And I just don't know what to do. I can't lose myself, I worked to hard and struggled through some horrendous life lessons to become who I am today. Yet, I like him. He makes me laugh, he does things that I would never dare. But why don't I feel like a measure up....like we move in two different spheres and are speaking different languages. I value honor, committment, integrity and fidelity. I don't know if I'm comfortable with a certain someone going out and flirting with other women. Yet am I just being a prude? Some people flirt unintentionally, others with intent. Without being there to see firsthand the body language it is really difficult for me to determine which category these situations fall into. I do know that thus far its all been above-board. But where does it end. The statement has been made by him that when he is in a exclusive relationship then it is truly exclusive but that flirting is just part of his nature. Is he just biding time with me till seomething better comes around? For all we talk and laugh I still have no clear idea as to where I stand. I think that if your interested in someone you say so....you don't hedge around the issue. But who am I to talk...I can't make a relationship committment to save my life.

So I called my mom this morning cause I didn't want to rain on everyone's V-Day and my mom offers clear advice (sometimes). And she basically raked me over the coals for thinking that he is any better than me in any way shape or form. But perhaps its the past rearing its ugly head that has me stuck in such a loop of self-doubt. Kind of ties back to if he knew the real me, he would probably head for the hills faster than a deer. Cause I never was that popular girl in school---for Pete's sake I went to private school and didn't step foot in a public school system until college. So my social skills didn't develop on quite the same time line as others. Yet I think I've turned out okay....I have decent fashion sense, with a tendency to wear a lot of black, simply cause it looks good on me and is always slimming. I have a good job, great friends, a wonderful extended family. But the question still arises is it enough....and how long do I have to wait for my happy ending? This thing with B. could be good, could be great, could be real....but right now I'm just confused and am kind of blue that V-Day didn't turn out how I hoped with the one I hoped to share at least a part of it with. Gawd, listen to me gripe and moan....I almost make myself ill. Wishy-Washy has never been my style. Easy going to a certain degree, absolutely. Compulsive about other things, yup. But a whiney, moaney (I don't know if that even is a word), wimp....has never entered my vocabulary until now.

So when life hands you lemons, make lemonade right. I swung by Starbucks this morning for my necessary cup of coffee...(venti van. latte decaf), and picked up a little gift for Morgane, the french intern at our office. She is so sweet and so young that I know it must be difficult to be away from home, loved ones and friends especially when you are single in a strange city. So instead of both of us eating alone tonight....I was actually going to order in pizza...we are going to go somewhere fantastic for dinner and then go shopping at the Mall. It will be fun and def. better than staying holed up in my room for the remainder of the day. Life can be good....I just need to remember to look on the sunny side.

So in conclusion......
Nope, there really is nothing more to say aside from if you made it all the way through reading this blog, you really are a stong person.. Don't take any of it to seriously and I'm going to try not to take things to seriously too.

Lazy Saturdays

Life is good. I had the opportunity to sleep in this morning (at least as much as 8am is sleeping in) then had a pleasurable morning phone call. After working for a couple of hours I took a nap and then worked for another couple of hours. I then ventured out on the town to good old Target for some cheap clothes and misc supplies after which hunger was calling my name so I took an early dinner at my favorite Sushi Restraunt in Dallas. While it might not sound like a real exciting Saturday I must admit that it was fantastic. It sounds like Sarah and Ryan had a fantastic night last night and I know that Rachel had an amazing day today so all I can say it that there is just something about knowing life is going well for your close friends that increases ones own pleasure in life. Weekends.....if only they came more quickly than every 5 days!

Hope everyone has a fantastic Sunday!!

Ps. Valentines Day is on Tuesday is everyone ready????

Ugg...I just heard that Dr. Phil was advertising on match.com. The tag line was that match.com will help with the who and Dr. Phil will help with the how of keeping them.....yuck!!

Almost the end

Last evening I had the fantastic opportunity to cook dinner for Sarah and Ryan who drove up from San Antonio. The observation was made over dinner that even though I'm on the road, we are actually seeing more of each other than when we were in Joplin. Who knew that taking a job where I travel 99% of the time, I would actually be freeing myself up to spend more time with my friends? Its a wonderful feeling, and just amazing to know that Sarah and Ryan are just a hop and a skip away. Sarah brought a fantastic cheesecake for dessert and I made Beef Stroganoff for dinner with Fresh fruit for a side dish. As Sarah said, nothing beats good comfort food.

B. left this morning for North Carolina. Its great to know that he is excited about the new training program, his new house and his future. I still have no idea how I fit into any of it, if I even really do but we will wait and see what develops. We talk all the time, but there still is nothing concrete about what we are. Who knows, I think the whole Valentine's Day thing is beginning to bug me. I was fine with everything until Stephen started talking about what he was getting his "sig other" for V-Day. And I realized that B. and I have not even acknowledged the holiday much less talked about it. As ya'll know I'm not going to mention it so its up to him to say something. I would be happy with just a sappy phone call, lord knows that I won't be in a position for anything traditional like candy and flowers much less dinner. We will see what comes to light. But even though this V-Day is going to be very odd, I still love this holiday. There is something about being able to get all sappy and romantic without fear or hesitation...its the one day of the year that everyone wears goofy smiles for no reason and couples are openly affectionate. There is just something about couples, people in love, people falling in love and classic romantics that just make me happy even though I might or might not be in a relationship. Love makes the world go round and the sun to rise each day.

Tomorrow is the last day of training with Stephen. We leave after the franchise audit for Dallas where we will do the breakout of the sessions and officially say goodbye to each other. Its so strange to realize that I have been traveling with him since the beginning of January and here it is almost the middle of February. Time flies. I still love the position, and each day poses new challenges and opportunities. I can't wait to break out on my own and actually take control of my schedule but on the other hand its odd to know that there will no longer be anyone there to chit-chat with in the mornings or the evenings, I still have to send him all my reports for approval but the where to go for dinner questions are now mine to decide. This will be where the truth becomes known. Can I handle life on the road alone? Only time will tell.

Until later!

Fun in Austin

So today ended up being the shortest Audit on record...Stephen and I both teamed up for the Audit and were able to finish by noon. By 2 we were in Austin and I had already made my much anticipated, longed for, hair appointment. Its just one of those things for me that when life gets a little wacky, I get my hair done. Not anything strange or bizarre, unless I feel like it, but just the time of papering. So my adventure began when I asked the front desk where the nearest mall was. Very important thing to know because when you are a stranger in a strange town, its no fun wandering all over town looking for a hairdresser. So thankfully the mall if just on the other side of the Interstate so I located the mall number and asked the very helpful customer service lady for recommendations of hair salons. Her response was and I quote "Visible Change seems to have a lot of people going there". Okay, not the worst review, but not the best either. But then I think, its in the mall how bad can it be? So I make my appointment for cut and color. I arrive on time, found a good parking spot, and found the salon without incident. Already this seems promising. When I enter the door of the salon I am assaulted by the images of "hairdressers". Okay, think New York snob, think LA style, think these people are all 10 years younger than me!!! That and the overflow of attitude coming from each stylist. When the phrase was coined that stylists are Divas, it was directly intended for this group. But I take my courage into my own hands, enter the black doorway into the black, chrome and mirrored salon and let the three people behind the reception desk know that I'm here for my appointment. Judgment ensues. I guess I just didn't have enough Pizzazz for them. But they were gracious enough and 5 min later someone calls my name. I'm taken to the back and led to this little room where I'm told to disrobe....okay I'm thinking someone messed up and thought I was there for a massage or something. But no apparently for colors in this place you disrobe and wear their black salon robes. Which were very comfortable actually.

After being appropriately gowned I'm turned over to a colorist. My mistake was in thinking that the individual doing my color was also going to do my cut. Apparently there are colorists, stylists, receptionists, shampoo girls, towel girl etc. And as I went through the process I have to admit it felt more like an assembly line than anything else. But on the flip side, my colorist and the shampoo girl were fantastic and very, very funny. My stylists was shorter than I, and weighed all of 90 pounds with messed up dyed red dreadlocked hair who wielded the scissors like a surgeons scaple and the blow dryer with the exaggerated movements of an actor, all the while never saying a word to me. It was one of the most bizarre afternoons of my life and it set be back a half a car payment. But all I can say is that I look fantastic. The highlights and lowlights are so subtle, yet my hair has such amazing color to it, the cut is incredible and I feel like a million dollars. So the moral of the story is although it might seem scary, sometimes trying something new can bring forth unexpeced benefits.

So tomorrow, its off to Waco for the Audit, I then bring Stephen back, input the data and its off to SA for a fantastic fun filled weekend!!

Looking forward to seeing everyone and for everyone to see my new do! :)